I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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