just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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