At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I am available for nakedness
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
