already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
