Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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