So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
