this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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