Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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