i don't like sucking hair
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
