I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
