I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
