you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
