woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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