Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
