When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
