I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
