do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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