So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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