I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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