His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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