how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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