i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
