i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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