we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He felt like a one man threesome
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
