What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
