Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
