Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We talked him into tasing himself.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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