I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
