Whod you bang
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think people are normalizing furries
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
