He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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