Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
