Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
