I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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