I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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