kristin has been a bad kristin
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
