Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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