She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
