Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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