So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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