the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
