Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.

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(541): View more from Oregon

he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(303): View more from Colorado

My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children

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(406): View more from Montana

i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Sext me about skeletons

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology

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