She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
