? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize