I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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