He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
