I think my fart just growled at me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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