i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
