she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
