I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
