Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
