It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
